What is Toastmasters?

Toastmasters International is a non-profit organization dedicated to helping people improve their public speaking and leadership skills. The organization has existed for more than 75 years and has chapters in more than 50 countries.

While being a member I have meet many great friends and new people. What I like most about Toastmasters is being able to listen to stories and providing critiques. Although it is not the theatre, it really reminds me of watching and directing actors. I also enjoy the chance to speak and inspire people to think critically and be engaged. That in itself is a very good talent to grow because having the ability to communicate clearly publicly is a skill. I know that in order to be the Director and Leader I want to be that I must be a great speaker that moves people; shaking the water to make splashes!

Some of you may or may not know that each prepared speech that is given in Toastmasters is evaluated by another member and a winner is chosen each night in three categories.

The winning categories are as follows:

1. Table Topics, where members are chosen at random to speak on a created topic and answer a question at the drop of a hat.
2. Best Speaker, members choose to speak on a prepared topic
3. Best Evaluator, members who evaluate the speakers

Having stepped up for the second time to do an evaluation for a speaker, I was pleasantly surprised to win Best Evaluator on April 13th!

The next week I decided to put my Voice and Movement skills together to do a class as my speech. I was able to lead a group of more than 30 people in a circle to do stretching exercises as well as basic voice training in a short 10 minute seminar. It was fun to see the group get involved in the process to enjoy themselves while learning to improve on their enunciation, volume and breathing. The point of the class was to make members aware of their bodies as an instrument. I wish I had a picture to show you what went on!

Last night on April 27th. I took on the leadership role of Table Topics Master. As the TTM, I came up with a subject that pushed fellow members to use their imagination muscles to tell tall tales. I was very happy to receive a lot of great responses from members telling me that I pushed the envelop with my topic just enough that made others have fun with what may be for some an uncomfortable subject. This evening I was also presented with the Honor of becoming Toastmaster of the Month for my active participation during the month of April, presented to me by the chapters President Aye Aung.

Overall this month of Toastmasters has been great! And I look forward to participating in the months ahead. If you are interested about learning more about my club the Westside Toastmasters visit www.westsidetoastmasters.com

Just wanted to send out an update and a lot of positive things are happening with the project this month.  I am also working on a pitch and will be coming out with a one page and sponsorship package soon.  To everyone that has stood by me in the past, please let me say thank you from the bottom of my heart.  I’m working hard for all of you to see this project through to the end and can’t do this without your support.  If you haven’t already, please check out the video of Tiba’s head scan by Thomas Shin.

The thoughts were debilitating me. I would come home to find Corey working on his projects and being tired out from thinking so much about my future I only wanted to lay in bed. I was so tired of trying to keep on working because I felt like I was pushing a brick wall every day. I was burning myself out even more by trying to go on and seeing no results. I got very frustrated with myself and with Corey whom I lived with and still love. I couldn’t enjoy my life and that also meant that I didn’t make it easy for him to enjoy his at all. I guess that explains why he left and immediately moved in with another girl. It was not like a usual breakup, it was more that I was replaced. I went through a lot of hurt and anger after finding this out, but the breakup wasn’t completely my fault, it’s really no one’s fault. Things change, nothing stays the same. I thought to myself maybe if I did things differently or maybe if I stayed at the 4^th of July party this would have never happened to us. But it only could have been a matter of time before it happened. The reason why I mention Corey is because he has been with me on this project since day one and he has always helped me and cared for me every step of the way finically and emotionally, even when I wasn’t at my best; which was for a majority of our relationship. Since he left I contemplated the thought of dropping the project all together. I thought to myself what was the point?

I was alone now. No one to come home to, no one to hold. My constant thoughts of the project turned into constant thoughts of Corey and his new relationship. I thought about him no longer being on the project, what was I going to do? I realized that I was still consumed with the film and losing pretty much everything that I had any control over including Corey. It was then, that I said that it’s time to give up and let go. Let go of Corey and let go of the film for the time being. I was always focusing on the results of what would happen in the future, it was like I was living out some frustrated fantasy in my head but doing nothing to make it a reality, and for what reasons? My ego had really gotten in the way and it had become necessary for me to take a step back and ask what can I give, what can I do to help others and how can I just enjoy my life for what it is, in the here and now.

I began to research and find out what made me happy; the “who am I” question. I began listening to Deepak Chopra’s Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul and The Element by Ken Robinson on audible. I wanted find out what was missing from my life besides Corey, cause we he left I still felt the same unhappiness that I have felt for the past years. The breakup really needed to happen in order for me to gain some more clarity about what I was feeling and why I have such a huge desire to prove myself to everyone. In essence I realized that I don’t need to prove anything to anyone. I just really needed to reignite and realign who I was inside. As each day passes I feel like I am getting better. I have come to accept the fact that I don’t need to eat, breath, pray and sleep my film 24-7. I just need to be happy with who I am and enjoy my life. Taking it day by day seems to be the best for me. Even though the relationship in now over, I am still thankful to have had Corey in my life helping me every step of the way till the bitter end. The universe always has a way of working things out for the better.

I looked at an old profile I had on Friendster from 2003 before I graduated from Cal State Fullerton yesterday and I read what I wrote to describe myself, everything clicked all over again. The things that I thought made me happy still make me happy. I love to write music and to sing my heart out, I am working on this now by writing a song and coming to the understanding that it doesn’t need to be perfect to put that song out there. I need to be confident with myself write some lyrics and not care what anyone says about the sound quality of the music or my voice. What matters is that I am happy writing and composing the song. Even though I am writing about my experiences I’m working to not let my ego get to involved and let it come from the soul and my heart.

I think one of the most courageous things you can do is put yourself out there for others to criticize you, one must be strong enough not to let words get to them. I have always felt that this is the reason why I never finished most of my older songs because I was really fearful of what other people might think. All these thoughts are really just excuses in disguise. Excuses holding myself back from fear and rejection. I have no excuse anymore, instead of coming home and lying down, I’ve been laying tracks and working on lyrics and why, because I love it. Music for me is fun, yet extremely challenging, heck I even have two degrees in it; a minor and an AA.

I think my recent inspiration for music came when I felt I was in The Element at the OC street fair, when I stepped on the stage before my friend Mike’s band Blade of Grass was to perform. Just being on the stage with the band, drums, keyboard, guitar and bass made me feel excited again, it was like my heart began to vibrate and I felt at home. I felt The Element that Ken Robinson was talking about, at that point I knew what I had inside me was great potential. Later that evening, I spent time with Mike, his friend Khoi and my friend Lisette and really had a wonderful time talking the night away. I thought to myself I’m so lucky to have these great people around me and I am so blessed.

To sum up the other items from the posting on Friendster were, I love sharks, aquariums and the beach– like always,

I love kitties,

and I love roller-skating. I need to pick up what I liked to do physically again because it made me so happy just skating away to my heart’s content. I used to skate 3-5 times a week at the rink and I was pretty good at it. I even took lessons. Skating is one of the things that makes me in The Element. Why did I stop skating in the first place? I guess that doesn’t matter just as long as I keep doing it.

Nowhere on the list was film making but I did have a note that I wanted to go to graduate school for film followed by an LOL, which I eventually did.I think my goal and my aim with film making now is to really take baby steps to move myself forward. I know what I want to strive for but I don’t have to be consumed with that every waking moment. I want to work on dialogue driven stories with no or little budget. Perhaps I will act in something that I will direct, going against my belief of an actor can’t also be the director theory, but if Mel Gibson, Clint Eastwood and Ben Affleck can do it, so can I. There is really no one that can hold me back only myself. I think one of the hardest things to realize is that filmmaking is really a group endeavor. It takes a lot of people to make things happen and make them look good, but there is a way that I can do this myself or perhaps ask for help when the time is right. I thought of a story idea tonight but will let it simmer if I want to write it down or not.

Ultimately, I need to give Captured Melody a break for the time being due to my health and happiness. I am still leaving the website up and will still be posting more content for the blog in the future, but at this time I really need to work on who I am and how I can be the best person I can be; enjoying my life to the fullest no matter what the outcome might be. Living in the future had me living in constant anxiety, fear and stress. I’m so tired of that and I am in the process of moving on with my life emotionally and physically. After my move I will be in a new place to create new experiences that will help shape and mold me to evolve from the past years of blockage and suffering. For this part of my journey, I must go alone and not keep looking at tomorrow for all my answers. All my answers are already inside of me here today. It’s up to me to not wait and to ACTIVATE.

What I should have done a long time ago was to post the some photos up from when I got the shirts printed in the first place.  It’s never to late to keep trying.

One of my favorite things about my shirts is the rhinestones that I have on them.  Corey helped out to set the stones in a jig while I was busy catching and counting shirts, after I was done I heat pressed them all.  Project managing a shirt was no easy task.  There was so much I had to do with what little time I had due to working full time.  I was lucky enough to find a printer who was able to give me a more than fair deal who took the time during the weekend to help me run samples.

So due to set up cost for my most amazing shirts, I had to stick with one design. So for anyone who has visited my site www.glowwings.com I am sorry for not having more designs and glow colors, but I hope I have compensated with at least style. Since there are so many to choose from.

Besides working on funding my film, this is my first official business venture, which is related to the film. I sometime find myself at odds because I have created a product called glow wings to finance my thesis film Captured Melody. There are two different websites, one for the shirts and one for the film. I wonder everyday how to bridge the gap between the two. I have also extended some efforts to help with marketing/advertising using google adwords and facebook ads for my internet website. Word of mouth sales seem to be the best and people who buy glow wings really enjoy the product.

My intention with glow wings was to create an interesting product that would provide joy and entertainment for fairy lovers, as well as adding some additional financial support for Captured Melody. If you would like to show your support please purchase a shirt online and share the link and your shirt with your friends. Help spread the word about this unique product and project.

If anyone out there in the blogisphere has any ideas on getting the word out there for my shirts, please let me know. I have barely scratched the surface and know there is a better way to do this instead of paying facebook for advertising. I need to work on selling shirts to raise more capital for marketing and fund raising.

Since I am a member of Women in Film, I am wondering if I can get on their news letter, I have noticed that some people who are working on funding sometimes have a small blurb on them that goes out with the monthly newsletter, so that members can find out what you are doing and working on.

I have currently begun working on marketing efforts for the Glow Wings shirts in order to support the film.  So much to learn in so little time.

Comparing a film to a baby is a great analogy.  Seems like Captured Melody has really consumed a lot of my life and my everyday thoughts.  I want to nurture it and see it grow to its fullest potential.

Current State of the Dress

Concept Skirt and Half Corset

What

are your

thoughts?

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Hello everyone, I wanted to share a current work in progress at the moment.  One photo is the current state of the dress with a half belt and the other is a partial concept.  Edith and I have been discussing the skirt lately and what we have to do to get it right.  So what do you think we should do?  The character Rosalyn needs to be able to run and do action sequences.  I suggest that the skirt be short and have some flair/edge.  Edith agreed.  We are also going to have the actress wear some brown tall flat boots.  Very Awesome!    I think that the red and blue represent a whole lot about the  fairy, all fairies have their look and own storty, but I don’t want to overhaul you with the pompous details of the director.  Well there you have it, throw some thoughts out there don’t be shy.

Costume Designer Edith Raya Rocks!  She loves story, script and bringing characters to life!